Thursday - Day 45

My sleep wasn't as good last night.  I'm still trying to figure out why and what to do to feel better.

But looking at photos today I did see that I forgot to upload the picture I took just before sunset last night.  The clouds to the east were amazing.

I have somehow re-injured or aggravated my left ring finger top joint.  This is the one that got tweaked when Salsa lunged for Lily while I was holding her leash.  And it is also the finger I had x-rayed just before shutdown that cost too much and showed no fracture or dislocation.  It hurts like hell.  I didn't get a splint at the time because I didn't want to venture into that environment to find one that works, and it was starting to feel better.  Maybe I need to look online for something that will help it heal.  The bump on my right hand is acting up again too.  And there is no safe way to insert myself into the COVID situation at the doctor's office to have these looked at.  It's also not something that can be examined by video conference.

 I worked a lot today.  At one point I took a break to mop the floors and tweaked my back.

The combo of the above means that at about 6pm I started to feel really low and by 7 the tears were threatening.

No eggs at all today and Lily escaped but I saw her just as I was getting ready to put all the goats in for the night.  I ignored her until all the others were in the barn, and she tried to stay away from me.  Grain usually gets her in the end, though, and this time was no exception.

I settled in to read a little and my reminder went off for 8pm howl. I sighed and stood up.  Then reminded myself of how much I do enjoy this and how it will be good to get out into nature without animals to wrangle or feed to pull or weeds to whack - without a real "job" to do.  Just enjoy the walk in the evening air.

So I took my time and paid attention on the walk.  When I reached the end of my driveway, I walked down the main drive a little bit, then turned around and looked at the peachy sunset sky.

We heard two other people howling again tonight.  It is amazing how good that feels.  It seems silly but when I hear other people, I feel less disconnected.  It helps.

I tucked the chickens in when I got back to the house and noticed the elderberry bush is going gangbusters.  The flowers literally perfume the air.

They are so delicate up close.  My phone camera doesn't hold onto the buttery yellow color up close, but you can see how pretty they are here.

I'll probably gather some for elderflower tea but leave most so we get the berries.

So after that short little adventure, I felt refreshed and not so sad.

Bex made pizza tonight - so so good!  She is becoming quite a good cook.  She has been making breakfast for us most mornings since the shutdown, and many dinners.

I worked again on our musical project and we are making progress.

To bed before midnight.  We are well and hope you are too.

Wednesday - Day 44

I try to open the next day's blog post and label it so I can more easily remember what day it is when I get back to the computer in the morning.

I slept really well last night, and woke a little later than usual.

After going outside for a little bit this morning, this is where Oliver planted himself.

After Becca let him into her room, he made himself comfortable.

I headed down to pick up fabric for Joann's but they only had one out of the four I had ordered.  It is a mystery to me how I can order something, have it confirmed in stock, then have it not show up.  They were my favorite patterns and I suspect some back door/in house dealing.  But that could just be me feeling tired and cranky about this whole situation.

I was able to stop by the farmer's market at the LBC on my way home.  I wanted to pick up something from the "bacon guy" but he wasn't there today.  I did get some more tea and some citrus.  I was able to drop off some tangerines and a grapefruit/navel orange hybrid fruit to Jon on my way home.  I am now wishing I'd picked up more honey but can do that next time.

I spent most of the day working, with a Zoom meeting in the afternoon that pretty much laid out a lot more work to do.  I'm grateful for the work but am missing time that I would prefer to spend on making masks, creating music, cooking, etc.

Becca found a new friend this afternoon.

Other than the one egg from the Americauna earlier this week, I've gotten no more green eggs.  It's a mystery.

Lily continues to escape in the late afternoon.  I set up the camera but I think it was too far away to capture her escape route.  I continue to look for a better - and safe - location.

I was in bed when I realized I forgot to hit send.

We are well.  I hope you are too.

Tuesday - Day 43

I slept a little better last night.  It took a while to get to sleep, but when I did it was deep and until the sun woke me.  I woke with a tiny headache that went away within a half hour on its own.

I forgot to mention that after I set the camera yesterday (which saved nothing to the microdisk), Lily found it and knocked it off where I had placed it.  It's like she made a beeline for the new thing she noticed and wanted to know if it was edible.

It was hot hot hot this morning.  At 8am while getting the goats out of the barn, I was sweating. I was going to do some weed whacking in the "cool" of the morning.  That didn't happen this morning.

I went back and forth between jobs and odd things to do around the house.  My attention span is seriously short.  I have a hard time staying focused on most things more than about 20 minutes.  Then I switch gears.  This includes television programs.  I think I paused the latest episode of Outlander three times before I finished it.  It's not that I don't like the show.  I do.  I just can't stay in one place for long.

This little guy showed up on my windshield on my way back from the mailbox this afternoon.

When it finally cooled down a little, I spent a half hour clearing weeds near the barn and cleared a path to the propane tank so I could check the level.  Tick check, of course.

The class I took on Sunday helped me notice medicinal plants as I was clearing "weeds."  I gathered some milky oats and a sticky vine called a cleaver.  It sticks like crazy to everything, and I've been tripped by it plenty around the farm.  I gathered a little bit of both plants while I was whacking down tall grass and thistle and the ever encroaching blackberry.

I don't know when Lily got out, but she was eating outside the pen when I left the house to put them into the barn.  She followed me to the barn and then came to me after I got everything set up.

Jessi and Cory brought my frozen/refrigerated groceries that I didn't pick up yesterday.  It was nice to talk with them - at a distance and with our masks - for a while outside.  I miss them.  It's hard not to hug them.

Oliver stayed out past his curfew tonight, so I went hunting for him in the dark.  I found him by Loretta (Becca's Corvair project for those not familiar with her) and he tried to walk away from me.  I think he didn't like the flashlight in his eyes.  I turned it to the ground and he stayed put so I could pick him up.

I tried a new sandwich recipe.  It has potential but needs something more I think.  A combo of canned chicken breast, mayo, chopped apple, and shredded cheese, made into a grilled sandwich.  I think it needs more seasoning.

I found out today the courts will be closed until June.  At least.  The county fair was canceled.  That was schedule for August.  I have a hard time wrapping my brain around these extended cancellations and closures.  All I can really look at is today and tomorrow, so I will narrow my focus again.

No television tonight.  I can't concentrate.  So I will get to bed by midnight and hope for better sleep.

We are well.  I hope you are too.

Monday - Day 42

I did not sleep well at all last night.  I hate tossing and turning, but being too tired to get up and try to wait it out while actually doing something productive.

Bella typically gets a nail trim every 6 weeks.  I've put her off as long as I can and the vet agreed to trim her nails today because they are becoming a health issue.  I pulled into a parking spot at the door with Bella in the car and called on the phone to let them know I was there.  The tech came to collect Bella, then brought her back outside, we traded my debit card back and forth in a sanitary manner, and I was on my way.  I forgot I had a full nail trim card that would have given us a free one this visit, but I can use that next time.

I stopped by Jessi's to pick up groceries we had ordered online and had delivered to her place.  She was in a Zoom meeting and couldn't grab my frozen/refrigerated items, but she planned to bring those by when she went for a drive to get out of the house later.  That didn't happen but is okay 'cause I need to get more alfalfa tomorrow.

Every time I need to get more alfalfa I think about the week this shutdown started.  I got two bales then, thinking that would last me until the shelter at home was over.  I've been to the feed store three times for hay.  Maybe four with the solo bale I picked up.  I barely paid attention today when many Bay Area counties extended their shutdown through the end of May.  I have been kind of expecting that and am sure Sonoma will do the same.  I am in a fog of feeling like I can plan nothing.  I can't see past tomorrow.

I had a package not delivered with my mail on Friday (vitamins) and was really bummed that I had to go to the post office to pick up.  After I turned in the slip of paper under a plexiglass shield at the post office counter (cheerfully decorated with inspirational phrases), the clerk came back to tell me my regular carrier was back and had it on her truck to bring to me today, but since I was there she was getting it off the truck for me to take home.  No line at the post office these days.  I was in and out in five minutes.

This afternoon, the postal carrier brought my mail, which included stamps I'd ordered.  If you get the chance, check out the stamp selection at the post office web site.  I love these.

Spreading a little love with my mail in the future.

Lily got out again today.  Bex put her back in and by the time I got outside with a camera to see if I could record how she is escaping, Lily was out again.  She was Houdini, and my camera wasn't working properly.  I'll work on that tonight and see if I can capture her escape tomorrow afternoon.  This camera has instructions that were obviously poorly translated.  For instance, "warm tips" are probably intended to be "hot tips," as in easy shortcut instructions.  They're not.  Here's instructions on how to turn the power on.

Connect the camera to power supply or long press confirmation button K1 (Power button) for 3 seconds, Red & Blue indicator keeps on and then continuous scintillation, camera starts to initialize.

Scintillation.

I vegged with TV and then a little music.  I'm not tired but should try to get some sleep.

We are staying well.  I hope you are too.

Forty Days and Forty Nights

I slept a little better last night.  Not as good as 4/20 but not as bad as the previous two.

This little creature was snoozing on a barrette on my side table as I went to bed last night.

I started the day with an online class in herbal first aid.  It was a longer class than I'd remembered it would be, but with frequent breaks and a lunch break, it worked out well.  One snag.  We took 5-10 minute breaks every 45 minutes.  After the first break, I came back to my computer to see a message pop up saying it was going to restart and update software in 14 minutes and counting.  There was no way to tell it "later."  So I had to warn folks that I would probably drop out for that and would be back.  Thankfully, the class was recorded, and I was also able to use Becca's iPad to watch while the computer updated.  During my lunch break, I ate and then played some music for a while.

I learned a ton from the class and look forward to starting my herbal first aid binder.

Bex spotted a super long-tailed lizard today.

An hour after the class ended, I had a scheduled collaborator Zoom, which I dug right into.  I love working with these guys, and what we are now polishing is - I think - something special.

Lily would get out of the pen almost as soon as I put her in this afternoon.  Bex busted her one of those times.

This makes me laugh out loud every time I watch it.

I watched a little television with Bex before bed.  It's been a long day and I'm off to bed a little earlier again.

One of Becca's friends reported that someone at her workplace has been diagnosed with COVID.  This is the closest to us yet and we are sad and nervous.

We are staying well.  I hope you are too.

Saturday - Day 40

I didn't sleep well again last night.  To start, it was hot.  I slept on top of the covers.  But my mind keeps racing and worrying and thinking and it's hard to relax into rest. 

The morning started warm again.  There was not much time to keep doors and windows open to cool it down before the heat started ramping up.

I did not know what the heck this was when I spotted it during morning chores.  I was afraid to look closer in case it was a snake or other reptile hiding under the leaves.  Instead, it was a most interesting looking mushroom.

My birthday gift for Sis was finally delivered today.  Her birthday was last month.  Amanda was great about calling me so I could watch her open her present - a cute little musical jewelry box with a spinning unicorn.  It's beautifully decorated too.  It was great to see her face as she watched the unicorn move.  I had a chance to catch up with Amanda too, and Bex was able to join in on the call.  I miss them so much and am looking forward to being able to see family again.

I felt like I had a really good day with Bex.  There was some connection time and she's growing into a lovely young woman. 

I exchanged some cookies and mail for a microphone extension and CD from Jon this afternoon.  Then had a fun collaboration session with Jon and Erik.  This was interrupted by Lily escaping.  (Thank you Bex for getting her back into the pen.)  Just when we finished talking, I heard something walking on the deck, and captured this.

Busted!

I'm pretty pooped tonight after a hot day and hope that I will get more restful sleep.

We are well and today was a good day.  I hope you stay well and have good days too.

Sixth Friday

I tossed and turned last night - literally.  I could not sleep as my mind was racing.  I woke up looking for pillows at one point and one was on the floor. 

It got hot fast today!  It was already 80 at 9:30 a.m. with that damned wind still gusting.  Wind always causes anxiety, and especially now.

I seem to have a schedule now - work in the morning and then figure out what else to do in the afternoon.  Today it's masks and a little music.  I finished Mom and Dad's masks and got them packaged for shipping.  I forgot to take pictures and am looking forward to knowing that they got them.  The fabrics were picked just for them, and the rest of the masks will be bonus fun for other people. 

It was super hot this afternoon and I can't find my fan.  I did a lot of reorganizing so I'm sure it will show up in the place that it is "supposed to be."

Two (sounded like) men joined in howling to the north of us this evening.

Venus was bright tonight, and I left the curtains open at the front of the house so I could watch her rise in the night sky.

I hung out with Bex for a while and enjoyed her company before bed.

It's so hot in the house it's crazy.  I'm leaving windows open so I can cool it down overnight.

We are well and finding out way.  I hope you are well too.

Thursday - Day 38

I woke at 6:00 a.m. without an alarm.  I had a hard time getting to sleep last night, as the weather has turned warm and it was uncomfortable in my room.  But the earlier bedtime helped this morning.

The birds are all over and really vocal these days.  The cool spring mornings are my favorite.

Work was intense and I was having a hard time concentrating.

I finished making a pretty mask for Mom that I think she will like.  I am working on one for Dad that is uniquely him.  The thread issue has been resolved.  Now I am struggling with finding a good way to cut strips of fabric for the ties.  I have tried a few different ways.  I'll keep working on finding a system that works well for me.

When I checked the nesting box this afternoon for eggs, I was surprised to see not just the second brown one of the day, but saw that one of the Americaunas had laid!  I almost heard angels singing as the sunlight hit the glowing blue-green orb nested in the straw. 

Let the eggstravaganza begin!

I went out this afternoon to drop off packages for shipping - including one box of masks for our medical friends in Colorado.

I then picked up more thread that I had ordered from Joann's.  It is amazing how much thread I am using.

I am making time for some self-reflection and creativity this week.  It is daring for me to risk like this but it feels good too. 

We are well.  I hope you are too.

Wednesday - The Days Fly By

Even while time seems to stand still, it flies.  I don't feel like I have accomplished much and here it is Wednesday already. 

I forgot to mention last night that there were four other people howling with us last night!  It was really cool to hear them from different directions in the valley. 

I worked on accounting this morning and then attended a Zoom meeting this afternoon.  It was somehow comforting to be focused on work issues and see familiar names and faces, but it was really unsettling to realize that this is going to go on for a long time.  We have no idea when the courthouse will open or when work life or any life will return to any semblance of normal. 

I worked on masks again.  I'm knocking on wood when I say that I think I've solved the thread breakage issue.

I am working on songwriting with brilliant people.  Even if nothing good comes from it, this is a good creative use of time.

My mic stand arrived today.  I can continue to work on my music area of the house and hope to resolve the network issues this week.  It's Wednesday.  I may need to send a reminder e-mail about that.

I chatted with my neighbor for a bit next to the bottle brush bush.  Hummingbirds and bees hovered around us, more interested in nectar than bothered by us.  I finally thought to pick up my phone and record one of the birds that was nearby.

I left it without soundtrack because the buzzing and chirping and humming is lovely.

On my way out to howl, I caught sight of these blooms.

It's been an up and down day.  But it's okay.  That's just the way some days will be.

While Bex and I were watching TV, I got a call from Jess to go outside and look to the west.  We went out into the dark by the cars and the motion sensor light came on - otherwise it is really dark tonight.  This super bright light was in the sky and we couldn't figure out for the longest time what it was.  Becca's astronomy app didn't label it at all but we surmise that it is Venus, which is supposed to be very bright through the end of this month.

Becca got this incredible shot with her phone.

We were feeling spooked and I hung up the phone with Jess at the very instant the light suddenly went out and a huge gust of wind blew through the trees near us, making it sound as if a large animal was coming at us.  Becca grabbed me and we held onto each other as we hustled back into the house.  Scared us silly.

I'm tired at 10:00, so off to bed before midnight.  We are well.  I hope you are too.

Tuesday - Catching Up

I hadn't taken many notes for the blog yesterday because the day was so routine.

It was 4/20 and I decided in the evening that I wanted to try a little weed.  The first time as an adult.

Suffice to say that I recognized pretty quickly last night that even if I could resurrect a story or two from the day, I would not be able to type it.  And then I mistakenly worried that the dry mouth and throat I was experiencing might be swelling of my mouth and throat.  Logically there was no way I was having an allergic reaction, my breathing was totally fine, I could swallow the tons of water I was drinking, but I was not making good decisions and asked Bex to call 911.

I felt bad when the EMTs showed up. I had started to feel a little better while waiting and told dispatch so, but there is no going back once you push that dial button.  They checked me out, exclaimed at what a healthy 57-year-old I am, on no medications, and all testing they did was stellar.  (When asked my age I thought for a moment and said, "57."  Then paused and added helpfully, "And a half.")  I apologized for having them come out for a grandma who decided to try weed on 4/20 and then overreacted with worry.  🤣  They were fine and actually said, "Happy 420" as they left.

I spent the rest of the evening on the couch watching TV and eating mini eclairs before going to bed more relaxed than I have been in months and was able to have a really good night's sleep.  As I laid down, I could understand how this in small doses could really help people with anxiety and sleep disorders.  A dosage pen might have been better than a joint.  This is not 70s Maui Wowie.  But that's hindsight, 20/20 on 4/20 in 2020. 

When Mandi called me this morning with a question, I told her and Ant the story and we laughed together.  Then she said I needed to tell Jess so Mandi could talk to her about it.  So I repeated the story in a call with Jess and we laughed again.  It was a funny adventure and one I won't forget anytime soon.

Mom called to chat because last night's blog was so short.  She was not as amused.

I dove into projects and am still trying to pin down why my thread randomly breaks.  I have ruled out all but one thing now.  So far it hasn't broken for the last two masks I finished off tonight.  If that holds, we're good.  If not, next and last item. 

I have nine masks ready to ship to CO.  I'm a little short of my goal because I am still figuring out the math on how many to cut.  I made 12 masks total but ran out of fabric to create the ties.

Lily stayed in the pen.  I dropped an egg this morning when getting it from the coop, so only retrieved for the day.  The Americaunas are still not laying.

Today felt off.  I am feeling stress in my body but making sure to take the time I need to relax and try to keep my mind off the crazy. 

We are well.  I hope you are too and can stay that way.  Stay home.  Stay safe.  Keep your family and friends safe.

Monday Again

No headache this morning! 

It was a pretty quiet day, moving between computer and cooking and sewing.  Lily stayed inside.  The Americauna hens are still on strike.

I'm sorry to not have much more to report today.  Maybe more tomorrow.

We are well and hope you are too.

Sunday is Just Another Day

No headache this morning.  I am still not sleeping well and my back felt a little achy but am overall okay.

I was going to make popovers this morning but it calls for four eggs, and with two layers still on strike, I would rather save them for breakfast.

I have been working on the masks but it is slow going.  My back is starting to spasm from standing over the ironing board.  I'm going to move it to an easier spot to access the next time I need to use it.  That might help.

Jessi brought rice and a recipe and I handed off a mask and bottle for milk.  The stores are getting restocked, so we do not have to over-order to get what we need.  We ended up with too much potatoes, rice, and hash browns.  The chicken has increased in price dramatically.  Luckily we don't use a lot of meat.

I have been trying to get my microphone set up at home but the tools I have for a stand are not working properly.  I've ordered one more piece that should help.  I am still struggling with network issues to play music with my band live, but hope to have that resolved this week. 

I enjoyed an online Zoom visit with friends this evening.  It is always good to catch up, see faces we love, and hear music we love.  I look forward to this every time we can schedule it.

Tortellini soup tonight.  It was not as good this time but still good enough.  Plenty left over for the week.

We are well.  I hope you are too.

Saturday - Time Flies

I didn't sleep well again last night.  Mild headache and shoulder ache this morning.  I couldn't lift my right arm higher than just below shoulder height before it hurt too much to go further.  That eased a little by the end of the day but not 100%.

It's a silly thing.  Something that has probably happened several times in my life, something that's annoying and quickly forgotten when it gets better.  A little heating rub, a little rest.  But today.  This year.  This month.  It feels bigger.  It's as if everything is magnified, the highs and the lows.

I feel the feelings.  All the way when I can.  Then I let it go and move forward toward an uncertain future.

So of course this morning's next episode I'm listening to as I catch up on Malcolm Gladwell's Revisionist History podcast is about sad songs.  But country sad songs are honest and real songs.  You feel the feelings, all the way through, so you can heal and get better and ... move forward toward that uncertain future.  The future's always uncertain, it's just these days we remember and are more aware of that fact.  We have to acknowledge it because the chances are 100% that the world on the other side will not be the same as it was 33 days ago.  We will not be the same in a big way - not a gradual evolving way.

I finished up a job, then worked on masks.  At one point I looked up from the ironing board and saw Lily out on the driveway nibbling at the bottle brush bush.  I went out with alfalfa and threw half in the pen.  She came to me but then dodged when I reached for her.  I held the remaining alfalfa out and she came over again but then dodged again.  I threw the rest into the pen and when she came back again, a light bulb went off.  I opened the gate.  She walked right in.

I picked up groceries from Jess that she had delivered to her house earlier today and dropped off a couple of masks.  We chatted at 10 feet apart for a while.  It's so strange to be so far apart with such a short visit but I felt lighter on the drive home.  My late departure meant that I didn't get to howl with my neighbor, but I did hear howling in the distance in Windsor.  Jessi's neighborhood is very quiet.

I cooked up some farmer's market pork shoulder, shredded it, and made some more salsa.  Dinner was a good combination of those ingredients in burritos  I enjoyed that while watching the Together at Home special.  There were some really good moments, enough to make me keep and not delete it yet.

Ollie likes having people around and has been indoors more often this past month because he likes people, but he does miss going outside.  We may try tomorrow.  He's been indoors since we saw the bobcat.

To bed before 1:00 a.m.  We are well and I hope you are too.

Friday - Day 32

I woke up with a headache again after a fitful night of attempted sleep. 

The headache went away, and going outside is always a good way to start the day.  Morning chores are musical these days.  You'll hear Yellow, the rooster, and maybe some buzzing as the hummingbirds fly by in the video below.

Some work, then safe errands with Bex riding shotgun.  We sent masks to "The A Team," and picked up fabric and some alfalfa.  We haven't been able to do errands together for a long time.

Calves were near the roadway - it's always fun to see them.

There's too many people out.  I was surprised.  I went for essentials and I cannot understand what people are doing parked all over Railroad Square.

I later read an article in the Press Democrat that the Santa Rosa Police are now citing violators of the mandated shelter at home.  Minimum $1,000 fine and possible 6 months jail time.  Maybe that congestion will ease.

The day was often an exercise in frustration.  It seems most things these days are tinged with that.  I'm hoping tomorrow is better.  There will not be any remote access attempts at work.

I shared with Bex one of my favorite adult beverages tonight - what Tammy and I call "Copper Camels."  Sooooooo good. 

We watched an episode of the new Making the Cut show and are going to bed before midnight.

Today was a roller coaster of peace, joy, frustration, fear, anxiety, and apprehension.  But we are well and hope for a better day.  Hope you are well too.

My Phone Says It's Thursday

I woke up with a headache this morning.  Brewed coffee to see if it would help and watched Oliver sitting by the slider wanting to go out.  I delayed his exit today for full daylight and planned to bring him in for the afternoon based on critter sightings.  As it turns out, I kept him in all day.  He seemed fine with it and probably enjoys the extra attention of quarantine.

I was working on masks for my grandkids last night and as I was sewing one, the thought "itsy bitsy" came to mind.  That thought was followed immediately by "teeny-weenie-yellow-polkadot-bikini."  And I started remembering my mom's box of 45's and how I loved listening to them.  Here are a few that ran through my head last night.

Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polkadot Bikini

It's a little uncomfortable to listen to this song in 2020.  The YouTube video I found of the performance introduced by Dick Clark was extremely uncomfortable!  So much so that I'm not sharing it here.

Next in my memory playlist was my favorite song of all.  The Purple People Eater still cracks me up.  "Tequila."

Then there's Alley Oop.  Why don't we have silly songs anymore?  For that matter, epic 5-minutes-in-length songs too.

Lots more work today.  It's like trying to work through quicksand - so slow and frustrating.

I was able to start cutting fabric again.

Two more neighbors were howling off in the distance tonight!  That was exciting to hear.

I got to talk to Mandi tonight.  She shared a funny story about Sis hiding a green bean and getting busted totally by accident.

I think I'll make it to bed before 11:30 p.m.  There were moments today when it felt like I was in a new normal, it was relaxed and had no overlay of anxiety.  I'm hopeful for more moments like that.

We are well and safe.  I hope you are too.

Wednesday - Day 30

I woke up to notifications that my fabric order is ready.  Whew!

My Amazon order of batteries has been delayed, so we ordered online for pick-up from Lowe's.  Bex grabbed both of those today and some lunch from Amy's. 

My insurance payments are higher because I deferred payment due to wildfire evacuation and that is tough this month.  I called today and confirmed that USAA is providing a credit that will help me on the next bill.  I am so tired of the worry.  I have still not received any unemployment payments and my first two weeks of certification are sitting there "pending."

I have a buffer but it is getting lower and that caused panic this morning when I saw the insurance payment had been taken out.

No stimulus check and who knows when that will arrive.  When Bex checked on hers, the site told her they don't know if she's eligible yet.  This is probably because her 2019 tax return was submitted relatively recently.

The Marin County Fair is canceled this year.  It feels like everything is being canceled.  This is why I can't see past tomorrow.  Nothing is certain at all.

Bex called me while I was on the phone with my boss this afternoon.  I couldn't answer and was planning to call her back, but then she pulled up to the house in a hurry.  She was excited to tell me there was a bobcat on the hill near the barn.  After I finished my call, we took a walk and drive to deliver some wolf urine in strategic spots to discourage the big cats from coming near.  Everything is so overgrown and out of control it's ridiculous.  We decided to set the perimeter right away 'cause I was thinking about leaving the bottle of pee in my car for next time I drove down to get the mail.  Then we had a horrible hysterically funny/tragic/awful vision of the bottle overheating in the car and exploding rank smelling pee all over the car.  I told Bex if that had happened, I would sell it to the first dismantler who would take it.

Here is some video Bex was able to capture.  Magnificent creature.  I love them so long as they maintain their distance.

Music is entitled Gently, Onwards by ELPHNT.

On our walk to the end of the driveway, we spotted this little guy.  While Bex was recording, I was enjoying watching the hummingbirds and butterflies that are filling the bottle brush bushes, and listening to their tiny chirps, like sound of tiny drops of rain pattering on a tin roof.

Music is Bird Therapist by Craig MacArthur.

Lily stayed inside the pen today.  I don't know if she smelled the bobcat or the wolf pee we sprayed around.  It's pretty pungent in spots out there.

I washed fabric tonight so I can begin cutting for more masks tomorrow.  Everything is triple washed and dried at high heat to preshrink and disinfect.

I had some leftover quinoa salad for dinner and a little bit of the from-scratch mac and cheese Bex made.  When I settled in to watch a little TV before bed, she was making chocolate chip cookies.  She has become quite the cook and a very good one at that.

As hard as the morning started out and with as much as has happened today, I am feeling calmer and at peace tonight.

We are well and safe.  I hope you are too.

Tuesday - Day What?

It's been four weeks since Sonoma County shut down.  Effective Friday the 17th, everyone is mandated to wear a mask in public indoor places and in public locations where 6 feet (should be 13 feet now) distance cannot be maintained.

I am out of fabric after I finish these masks.  I have ordered another six yards from Joann's but it is taking them a long time to get it ready for pick-up.  I am actually surprised I was successful in placing an order that wasn't cancelled within an hour.  I will call them tomorrow to see where I am in the queue.  Typically they say it takes 6 hours for it to be ready for pick-up.  I ordered Sunday.  Even allowing for closure on Sunday, I thought I would have it today.

I should have received the first unemployment payment by April 7 but I have received nothing.  The web site kept giving error messages when I tried to send a message yesterday but I was successful this morning.  They have another 5-7 days to get back to me. 

I stayed away from news today.  I was having a low day and didn't want to exacerbate it.

Masks are slow going today as thread keeps breaking but I'm getting there. 

I secured all of the fence posts nice and straight and tall this morning.  When I went to get the goats for the night, Lily was out and eating again.  I didn't fret about it, figuring she'd show up as I put the other goats away.  But then she disappeared.  And it was starting to get dark.  I got everyone else put in the barn and headed out with a scoop full of grain to look for her.  She was down the driveway near the cows again.  The steep driveway.  Tammy called while I was on my search and I was huffing and puffing up that hill.  Lily went into the blackberry bushes but when I got close with the grain, she came to me.  I'm glad she's working on the bushes but would prefer she came when I called!

I am very frustrated with the networking issues surrounding my attempts to play music live and long distance with my band.  I'll sleep on it and maybe a solution will be clearer in the morning.

My knee is still sore from last night's goat incident but I think it will be fine.  The lump on my hand that appeared at the beginning of  shelter in place is back.  I've taken photos and will send to my doctor to figure out long distance what is going on.

Dinner was quinoa with tomatoes, onion, and avocado, a little lemon juice, salt, pepper, and cumin.  It's a lovely, light meal for a warm day, and filling end to a stressful day. 

I am well and grateful for loving friends and family.  I hope you are well and have the same support throughout this trying time.

Monday Feels Like Monday Again

I went to bed at 2:30 a.m. last night.  I had a dream that when I got up, I found one half-finished mask on the table when I thought I'd put ten finished masks into the priority mail box that I had labeled and sealed and placed on the counter for mailing.

Monday feels like Monday again because I let myself be totally at home and not at work this weekend.  So I was in a good routine this morning of checking emails and scheduling tasks for the day. I hate to say that did not last long.  My brain is having a hard time staying on task and I find myself rotating through various things and not sticking to anything for long.

I ran out of alfalfa today so went to the local family-owned feed store in town on my way to the post office.  The owner, a man at least in his 70s, was the only person there and I didn't realize this until he was dragging a bale of alfalfa toward my car.  I typically get two bales but decided to let him load only one (with my help) and not put him through anymore.

While I was checking out, I asked him about my hens that quit laying.  He suggested adding a little bit of chili powder to their feed.  He said if they are not moulting (I don't think they are), they should start laying right away because it helps warm them up.  It has been really cold lately.  I'll give it a try.

I needed a couple of things at the grocery store and as I approached the entrance I was struck by how clean it looked.  The windows were gleaming and I've never seen it cleaner.  I noticed this throughout the store.  It is still disconcerting and disorienting that things are missing from shelves.  They moved the onions and garlic in the produce department and I was roaming around in a circle worried they had run out.  I was so focused on the possibility of not getting any that I didn't notice I'd walked by them twice before finally seeing them.  I tried to joke with the cashier about how asking customers if they found everything they need is probably not a good query at the register these days.  I think that wearing a mask makes it really difficult for people to "get" humor and I had to explain myself.  It was awkward when I was trying to break tension and bring smiles.

I read an article today about how this ongoing fight or flight stress can make us forgetful.  It was a relief to read about other people having this problem too.  One woman got into the shower with her glasses on.  The littlest things that are routine at home are sometimes falling apart.  I left my dinner dish out last night, which I never do.  One day I started to put coffee grounds into my vape pen.  Thankfully I caught myself in time.

When I need comfort and to calm myself so I can try to get to sleep, I recite in my head over and over a childhood bedtime prayer my mom taught me.

Oh God I thank you for being good to me.
Bless Mommy and Daddy, those I love, and all children.
Amen.

I was really distressed two nights ago when I could not remember the first line of that prayer.  All that would run through my head was "bless Mommy and Daddy, those I love, and all children."  That's all I could grasp for a long time until finally the first line popped into my head.  I guess the most important line is the one I was remembering.  Now I know I'm not losing it nor sliding into dementia.  It's this crazy fight or flight stress that we are all enduring for weeks, moving into months.

Lily got out again late afternoon.  She ran away from me when I approached, so I put alfalfa in the pen for the other goats.  As I was closing the gate, I noticed she was walking toward me, so I waited.  Then she walked calmly up to me to be let in so she could have some alfalfa too.

While I started to record Lily, she walked away and I was distracted by the sound of hummingbirds in the bottle brush.  I sought to get them on video and was surprised that there were dozens of butterflies in the bush.

The beautiful background music in the video is called Back to Portland and is attributed to TrackTribe.

The goats were rambunctious when it came time to put them in the barn, and Salsa was chasing Lily while they were both on leashes in my hands at the barn door.  When Salsa gets hyperfocused like that, it does not matter that she is wearing a halter that is squishing her face.  I sometimes tie her away from the other goats so I can get them moved, but I didn't do that tonight.  In the ruckus, she slammed her whole body into the front of my knee.  It hurts but I think it will be fine. If I have a bruise tomorrow, at least I'll remember where this one came from.

I go out to the end of my driveway and to the main drive for howling with my neighbor.  The cows have been there every night this week.  Sometimes they look at me and then run.  I decided to record the big white cow in front of me at the beginning of howling.  I think I am beyond caring if I embarrass myself these days by sharing something silly like this.

The cow was not impressed.  She probably wonders what is wrong with me. 🤣🤣🤣

I'm running masks through an assembly line system, doing each step on all of them rather than making individual masks one at a time.  It seems to be working well.  All of the pieces are together and I am working on ties that I can finish tomorrow.

I am going to bed before 2:00 a.m. - I hope to be sleeping by 12:30 a.m. 1:00 a.m.

We are well and listening to real coyotes howling tonight.  I hope you are well too.

A Different Easter Sunday

This is the first Easter in my entire life I have not seen my parents.  I'm tried this morning to let that sink in and just feel the sadness without my tears turning into fury.  Fury at what?  Nothing to be mad about.  I miss seeing them and my kids and grandkids when I know they're all close by but unreachable.

I started to listen to The Promise, an album recorded by the Wind Children just after I left the group.  I heard my brother Tim's voice and the tears just started flowing.  I always cry a little when I hear him but today I miss him even more because I miss absolutely everyone.

Click here to go to the web site where you can hear The Promise.

Bex cooked breakfast and we caught up on the last episode of Idol before the newest episode is aired tonight.  (Which basically was a bust because it is filler for the next couple weeks while they figure out how to handle this show while no one can gather together in a studio or theater.)

Because it was so nice outside, I opened the window in the master bath for some fresh air.  This is Oliver's preferred method of entering and exiting the house for some reason, so when the option is there he always takes it.  But I have a new curtain over it and I watched Ollie walk to the window and look at that curtain.  He stuck his head underneath it, then backed out.  That is when I started to record what he might do next.

He sat there staring outside for a really long time before exiting completely, and I quit recording him just sitting there looking around.

The day stayed sunny, then suddenly at around 5:00 p.m., the sky darkened just as Bex was getting ready to go for a run.  While I was getting video from Jessica of the downpour at her house, it started to rain, and then pour, here.  It was a real gusher with thunder but for only about 5 minutes, then the skies cleared completely again.  There were reports of hail in Santa Rosa and Windsor, and I believe it.  That wind was COLD.

The straps on the masks take the longest amount of time.  I was able to complete the last of a group of 10 to ship out tomorrow and am getting a system together that works well.  I begin another batch tomorrow.

When I went out to put the goats into the barn, Lily was missing.  I looked for her in the usual spots and she was nowhere to be found.  Just as Bex came out in response to my text, I spotted her - on the other side of the driveway, eating grass next to the cows. 

When she spotted Bex heading toward her, Lily dodged into the bushes and tried to get away from us.  But with teamwork - and not much of a heroic effort on Lily's part - we were able to get her and walk to the barn.

Dinner was spicy peanut chicken with rice.  It was good to cook with Bex and dinner was delicious with a little left over for tomorrow.

Masks are packed and labeled and ready to go tomorrow.  Becca asked me about doing something together next week and I said maybe if something wasn't going on.  She was surprised, what could we possibly have going on?  I explained that I don't even know what is going to happen tomorrow.  I can't plan for anything anymore.

We are well.  I hope you are too.

Fourth Saturday - Day 26

It was cold and gloomy this morning.  There's sunny weather predicted but it hasn't been showing up until midafternoon.  Today was no exception.

It's funny how the day isn't really different from the weekdays and yet there is a sense of ease getting up on an quiet Saturday still.  In part this is because I'm not obligated to be on call for legal work and emergencies.  Jess sent me a video this morning of the birds in full noisy song at her place, including an owl.  That was a nice way to start the day.  Even though the birds are out here and snagging dropped chicken feed, they're quiet today.

Lily hasn't jumped out of the pen since I started giving the goats an afternoon snack.  I'm not annoyed at her when she does it.  I know that she wants more food, and probably needs it.  I'm just a little concerned about her safety if she wanders too far.  She hasn't done that yet and sticks near the house and the baby greens near the pen.  The fact that she is old is showing more and more so I cut her a lot of slack.

I reached out to a friend today to see how he's doing via text.  After a little back and forth, I thought it'd be easier if we just talked and was happy to have the chance to do that.  I think we were on the phone for a little more than an hour and could have kept talking.  I love when conversations range from pandemic to family and friends and kids and music and technical ideas and world events and fact-finding and more.  I learned some things that I didn't know (or remember?) from someone I've known since 1976.  It was a fun conversation and I am really looking forward to this isolation being over so we can get together and talk in person.  Maybe eventually get over our mutual nervousness about playing music with people we haven't played with in decades and be brave and try.  Sometimes it just takes jumping in and being vulnerable and remember we're with people we trust who won't judge us and will be supportive as we learn together.

I picked up some groceries from Jessica this afternoon.  The streets are more deserted now than they have been.  That's a good thing.  I miss seeing my family. 

I haven't had much screen time today.  I powered through masks and am getting in my groove.  Five are completed and five more started.  If I don't run out of thread, my goal is at least 10 in the mail tomorrow.  I'm running low on thread and it's hard to find online.  The earliest I could get anything shipped is the 17th but I ordered it anyway and hope it will get here faster - sometimes they do.

Here's a photo of the first five.  I am ridiculously proud of these.

The fabric is a little more feminine than I would like but it is what I could get in the craziness of these times and with online orders that have been cancelled within hours of receiving confirmation.  I am sure they are overwhelmed but the constant cancellations and difficulty navigating the web site have me ready to give up on them.

I'm heading to bed at about 12:30 a.m. 

We are well and finding our way.  I hope you are well too.

Friday Never Feels Like Friday

I woke and immediately set to work on a work emergency remotely.  I had a plan for the day - set a schedule for myself for the first time in a month.  It mostly worked.

I worked remotely, then ate a snack and took a break.

Then a little transcription.

Then late breakfast/lunch cooked by Bex.  She is getting to be a really good cook!

Then mask making.  I finished another amid constant interruptions.

I got a shower.  I am not taking care of myself as well as I should, so this felt good.  Maybe I am getting back on track?

While I was setting up the barn, I saw this sight - the cows always move in the evening.

Music is Campfire Song by Chris Haugen

The cows aren't loud enough to be picked up by the phone video, but I can hear them walking.  Sometimes I can hear them chewing!

Dinner was made by Bex while I worked on computer networking issues.  A reprise of Alfredo broccoli pasta with pesto bread sticks and we caught up on another recorded episode of Idol.

I can't believe it's 1:00 a.m.  I don't feel tired at all but will head to bed soon.

We are still well and trying to figure out the new normal.  There were a couple of moments today that I felt calm and peaceful and happy and forgot about the craziness out there.  I hope you are all well.

Thursday?

The alarm clock went off and I shut it down.  I wanted to sleep until the sun hits my eyes.  But I knew I had to get up.

Then I got a text from the tech that he was on his way.  Ugh.

Then I got a message from a friend with soul-healing and supportive information.  I don't get to see her as often as I used to and I miss her.  But she's always there for me and steps in before I fall over.  I'm looking forward to this isolation being over so we can start meeting up again.  It's been too long.

The upgrade was smooth.  Now to fine-tune and test everything out.  Hold time was long to cancel the old service and the connection was extremely poor.  I couldn't understand why until there was a time when I could not hear the representative at all.  When we reconnected, she explained that she is working from home and the connection is much worse than at the office.  But I made it through.  I'll get a box to return the old equipment.  This call took 44 minutes!!

Then taxes, which is a pain.  And remote work, also a pain.

And when I started to work on masks, I got notice FedEx delivered a package.  So I went to the car to drive down and pick it up and saw Lily was out.  As I head toward her, the FedEx truck drives up the road.  To my neighbor's house.  I needed Becca's help to get Lily back in, threw some more hay in to appease the unruly goat, then expected FedEx to stop at my place, but he drove on by.  I called my neighbor to see if he left it, and she was just going to call me to tell me he had.  So up there to pick up the box.  But that means a half hour chatting, which I enjoy.  Then to mailbox for mail.  And then I'm tired again and getting messages from the office I need to deal with.

Where does the time go?

I listened to the first of Brené Brown's podcast as I started putting the finishing touches on the first mask.  I am basically creating binding tape for the ties and one of my biggest challenges in sewing is this.  There's a tool out there for this but of course I don't have it and of course the Santa Rosa Joann Fabric's doesn't have it available for pick-up (in store only - the store is closed).  I placed an online order for it to be delivered, but within an hour I received an e-mail that my order was canceled.  I can call the store tomorrow to see if they can help.  In the meantime, I am almost ready to put the finishing touches on this first mask and Brené is talking about FFTs - F**king First Times - and how hard they are.  But also how once you get through them, you can feel much better.  On the fifth basic mask (before ties), I felt so confident that I didn't look at the pattern at all.  And I did it right.  I know this part will get easier too.

I eventually finished the first mask and am really proud of the work.  I am looking forward to completing more now that the learning curve will be shorter.  The first five will be shipped off when completed and I'll keep working on more.

We are well.  I am tired, but well.  I hope you are too.

Wednesday Day Whatever

I've been sleeping until the sun hits the wall of mirrored closet doors in my bedroom, shining into my eyes with no escape. 

Staying at home during all of this has created a fear in me that I did not expect.  I have placed orders at the grocery store and feed store that I need to pick up today.  As I was getting ready to leave, I recognized that I was afraid to leave.  I had my hand sanitizer, wear a mask, will not be in contact with anyone (they place the orders in my car), but I was afraid.  My brain is saying it is not safe out there, as if the virus cooties are hanging in the air once I leave our property.

But on a more humorous note, as I was getting ready to go, I decided mascara only was fine for make-up because no one is seeing anything but my eyes over a mask.  So is that mask-ara?  And do we only wear mask-ara in this Mask Era? 

Gotta find the light somewhere.

It was a three-hour task from leaving the house to putting the last of the groceries away.  I had ordered items from the feed store and called when I arrived to let them know I was there.  Everything was loaded into the back of my SUV by one of my favorite "runners."  We chatted as he loaded and for a minute after.  It is strange not to see people's faces. 

On my drive to the feed store, I noticed that the farmer's market was open, so I stopped there on my way back home.  Vendors typically fill most of the lot and is usually bustling with lots of people pretty much elbow-to-elbow.  It was strange to see maybe six vendors there with three customers, including me.  That made it easy to keep my distance, and I headed straight for the man I call "the bacon guy."  He is one of my favorite people at the market and has the BEST chorizo.  I added some bacon and Hawaiian sausages to my order this time.  I picked up some milk in a glass jar and some fresh produce.  I wanted to get more honey and tea but still have plenty.

Raley's pick-up was awesome.  Easy access and they put the groceries into my car.  I was surprised the clerk wasn't wearing mask or gloves but we kept our distance.

Unloading groceries is a huge task now.  Every surface is wiped down and I designate clean and dirty areas.  Each item is disinfected as it comes out of the bag and goes onto a clean spot on the counter for moving to the fridge or pantry.  Thankfully Becca was able to help me with the reconfiguration of our spaces and adding the new items.  The only thing we are missing is tortillas but I should be able to get those from a combined order with Jess on Saturday.  Or we learn to make tortillas.  After everything is cleaned and put away, bags are put outside in recycling, I wipe everything down again. 

I got settled in and started on masks late afternoon.  I have cut five, sewn two of the mask parts.  I'll sew all five mask faces then do the binding and ties last.  I lost light so will pick it up again tomorrow. It feels good to finally start.

Made shredded chicken tacos with Bex. They turned out really good.

I'm pooped at 11:00 p.m. so will take advantage of that and get some sleep.

We are well and safe. I hope you are too.

Three Weeks Completed - Tuesday Begins Week Four

I went to bed at about 2:00 a.m. and have no idea when I got to sleep because my mind was racing.  It doesn't help that there's critters under the house again and I have to figure out how to deal with that.  I thought I had it handled.

I can't believe three weeks have passed since Sonoma County went home except for those precious souls who are essential workers keeping us quite literally alive.  You would think I would have gotten a lot accomplished.  In thinking about it, I have been trying to figure out what the new normal is, doing some wheel-spinning, going from project to project being totally unfocused because of my emotional state - fear, sadness, depression, denial, putting on a happy face, trying to find the good.  I wrote today that I'm still in the "doing what I must and a little of what I want but mostly wandering or sitting in shock" stage.

I want to write that I am finding my way and lots will be accomplished this week.  I think a lot of the wheel-spinning is because I know that isn't true.  I can't plan for the next 12 hours, let alone a day or week ahead.

Remote work this morning.  We are running out of staples in the kitchen, so the juggling between stores that offer pick-up or delivery begins.

I started to cut the fabric and then realized that it needs to be washed at least two, preferably three, times for maximum shrinkage.  So now two separate loads are on their way through, along with the kid's clothes.  Two loads because I have light and dark fabric and don't want any bleedage.

Amazon delivered the herbs for the chicken nesting box.  They are supposed to be beneficial for the chickens and encourage laying.  The chickens are slacking.  The Americaunas quit laying about a week ago.  Just when I need more eggs rather than less.

When I went out to get the Amazon delivery, I saw this.  It's clear that we're not driving the road much these past few weeks.

 Poppies in the Road

My current internet service is not working well for what I need to do, so I contacted HughesNet to talk about bigger badder service that meets my needs.  I got bigger badder service for very little extra in cost by shifting plans and the guy on the phone was so helpful.  He said I was the nicest person he's spoken to all day, and I made him laugh a couple times.  Especially when I told him I might call the installation number he gave me to try and see if I can get the new equipment installed sooner, but I am kind of liking the 4/20 install.  That got a good belly laugh from him and a wish at the end of our call that I enjoy 4/20.  I don't partake but I know I'll enjoy getting the new service.

I don't remember what I was doing when I got notice that the space station would be starting to fly overhead just before the 8:00 p.m. howl time, so I headed outside.  I had forgotten about the moon until I saw this beautiful sight!

I got to see the space station overhead.  I wish I'd started a video (that I would have shared without sound!) of my first howl tonight.  All of the cows lifted their heads and just looked at me like, "What the heck are you doing?"  Then went back to grazing.

I'm still moving, still looking for new normal, for more energy.  Going outside more times today and walking helped.  The beautiful view helped.  The break from rain helped.  (It's still too cold.)

Lily got out twice today.  It's becoming routine.  I still don't know how she's doing it and my camera is not cooperating so I can't set it up to spy.  I'll pull out the manual to figure it out.  It's translated from probably Chinese or Korean so it takes real brain power to decipher.

Another baked potato for dinner for me because I wanted more salsa.  🤣😋  Bex made pasta with made-from-scratch Alfredo sauce with steamed broccoli.  I tried some - it was good!

We are well and safe and staying home.  I hope you are too.

Third Monday - Day 21 - Ups and Downs

Today was a blur.

I put in some work this morning. We are trying to figure out if it's better for the boss to retain me and pay me or let me go.  It is really complicated.  The stress level increases.

But then Amanda called me, and I had a good conversation with her.  Laughs and love and information and support.  I miss my kids, miss my family, am grateful for telephone and video and text messages and Facebook sharing.

I took a break from work to cook.  But then there was another cook in the kitchen so I let her at it because she was going to make me food too.

Then I started working on this mask challenge.  And realized that I was 15 minutes late for a video conference in which we were going to test out different apps in the hopes Second Wind can rehearse at distance. 

We tried two different applications, my laptop microphone and camera quit working, and we discovered that nothing is working right.  How can Little Big Town and Darius Rucker and all do this on television and make it look easy?  We have spent weeks on this problem to no avail.

So stress level up again a little.

The mask kit from Joann's Fabrics is useless except from a practice perspective.  I made one and it is small enough for my 4-year-old granddaughter.  There was only elastic in the kit for one mask.  When I get the rest of my fabric, hopefully tomorrow, I'll be able to work on a better pattern.

I took a break and watched a show to clear my head.

Then Bex went off to work and asked me if any dentists are open for emergency work.  I think we will have a handle on this in the next day but - stress level up again.

Back to trying to figure out the office issues and whether I get paid or not and another emergency has cropped up.  Stress level up again.

But Lily broke out again and provided a distraction and a little entertainment.  When I went after her, she walked into the bushes.  I turned around to get grain, and she came out of the bushes and started following me.  By the time I had the grain bin opened, she had jumped onto the milk stand and was waiting for me to fill the bin.  I let her have a snack, took her back to the pen, and made the lowest post a little taller in the hopes that it will keep her in better.

Around the time I was going outside to tuck the animals in, Lily was roaming around again.  I need to figure out a way to get a camera set up to see where she is getting out and how.

I was able to take some video clips and put them together with some music.  It was a fun, creative project.

The video is too large to upload here, but you can catch it on my new YouTube channel.  Maybe she and the other critters will provide enough entertaining content to keep it going.

Lily's Great Escape

The salsa I made yesterday was calling me, so I roamed the kitchen to find something that would give me an excuse to eat it.  There are potatoes, so that was dinner - baked potato with salsa on top.  Filling and comforting and really good.

I have avoided most of the news today but my heart is heavy and I am tired tonight.  I know I'll bounce back.  This is a struggle some days. 

But we are well and warm and dry and out of the cold rain with food in our bellies and animals to make us laugh.  I hope for all good things for you too.

Sunday, Day 20 - A Busy Connecting Day and Beautiful Sky Video

I open a new blog post every morning so I can jot notes throughout the day.  This is one way I can remember what day of the week it is - I see yesterday's post in the list.

I started the morning with a good conversation in email.  It helps to hear what others are doing and to be able to share my own experiences.  I received some helpful video exercise links that I look forward to exploring and incorporating in the days ... weeks? ... to come.

I received a video call from Angelo today!  It feels so good when he reaches out to me on his own.  He showed me his Batman and Robin and Joker Lego figures, and their cars.  He fixed the Joker car by putting the flames on it, then everyone crashed. We then went through the different faces and embellishments in Messenger to change our appearances. My favorite was when I was a slice of talking pizza. I could spend every video call from here on out in that disguise.  Then Alyssa joined in for a bit, and Amanda, before they logged off to make cheesecake together.

I made salsa using a Chevy's copycat recipe that has been sitting in my cookbook unused.  I used the last of our fresh tomatoes, charring them in the iron skillet with onion, garlic, and a homegrown dried habanero.  Everything went into the Ninja with homemade taco seasoning and a little more salt and pepper.  I've had a tried and true favorite recipe for a long time and this one finally beat it out.  I love having homemade salsa on hand for various recipes and to add to breakfast burritos when Becca makes them.

I set up my sewing area and opened the pack I picked up from Joann Fabrics to make masks.  The kit is disappointing.  It contained supplies to make two masks instead of five as I'd been told, and and thin fabric that I am not sure will be helpful, cut rather small.  I am making them to see how they turn out but I made a big mistake on the first one because the directions are so vague.  I am tearing those seams out slowly.  It is taking more time because I used the smallest stitch length possible in order to make sure these are sturdy.  I am still awaiting my fabric order so I can make masks from the pattern suggested by Kaiser.

Thanks to member Karen Rawson, some of the Wind Children gathered for about an hour and a half for a Virtual Open Mic via Zoom.  It was wonderful to some faces I have not seen in a while, hear some music, catch up a little bit with each other.  As always, there is never enough time and I am hoping we can make this a weekly gathering.  This group is family.  Most I have known since 1976.  Some I have only met online or at recent reunions and yet I feel as if I have known them the same amount of time.  Our shared experiences connect us, and we know how to communicate honestly and heart to heart and with music.  These people feed my soul.

I had to log off early from the gathering to get the critters in before dark.  The big goats were being uncooperative so I decided to get some extra exercise and go ahead and walk them to the barn as I caught them.  The little ones came right to me, and as I was walking with Luna and Moonshine to the barn, I got to see the most beautiful sky.  Soon as I got the little ones in the barn, I took out my phone to capture it as best I could.  The video is below.

Beauty is All Around Us

Not long after chores were done, my reminder alarm went off for our nightly howl.  It is still just me and my neighbor and her little dog, Rascal.  The rooster didn't join in, but the turkeys did.

Jess contacted me to see if I need anything from the grocery store before this week's delivery.  She was able to get a delivery time this weekend.  It will be nice to pick up a couple things that we ran out of today that I hadn't realized we were low on until this morning.

A quiet evening carefully taking out stitches while watching television.  I'm not watching the news anymore.  The past two days my jaw has been tense and my throat tight with tension, so I'm letting it go.  My online review of news once a day will do.  Any emergencies come to me by phone.

We are safe and well.  I hope you are too.

Third Saturday - Day 19

I got up early and ventured out into the dark so I could see if toilet paper would be available at our local grocery store at opening.  I pulled into a dark and nearly empty parking lot at five minutes before opening.  I intended to wait in the car until the doors were opened but then noticed a couple of people heading to the door to get carts and wait.  It took me two minutes to get my mask on and sanitized wipe in hand.  When I approached, we all nodded and exchanged greetings, six + feet apart.  The clerk opened the doors a minute early and stopped each of the two shoppers ahead of me so she could personally sanitize their carts before they entered the store.  She did the same for a small basket for me.  I headed to the paper aisle first and my heart sank as I rounded the corner and saw empty shelves.  But as I entered the aisle I spotted a lonely set of six-packs of mega rolls, about 5 in total with a sign that limited each customer to one.  Boy, was I grateful for that one pack of real TP.  

I quickly grabbed a couple of things I hadn't put on the order I submitted yesterday, and decided bagels and cream cheese would be a nice treat as well, so I added those.

Seeing so many gaps on store shelves - large sections of bread shelves, all the paper, much of the spices - empty or near empty increased my stress level and anxiety.  I can understand why people would hoard things because they're afraid they won't be able to find it later.  I struggled with the cumin.  Do I buy two so I have a back-up?  Pushing down the thoughts of OMG what is this world and are we ever going to get out of it?  

Signs at the register instruct customers to wait to place their items on the belt until they are told that they can by the clerk.  Signs on the floor indicate a six-foot place to stop.  There is a plexiglass shield between me and the clerk at the register and plastic covers the card machine.  The clerk enters my card number so I don't have to touch the key pad.  I pay her in cash.  The change is rounded up, so no coins.  We are careful not to accidentally touch as the money is passed back and forth.  I am grateful the store employees are there.

It started to sprinkle on my drive back and the smell of fresh rain on spring earth started to come through the car vents as the sky began to lighten.  I heard the turkeys gobbling as I got out to close the gate.

I wiped everything down I'd brought from the store and put it away.  (And washed my hands soon as I got home, before groceries, after groceries!)  I had thought I would go back to bed when I got back home, but I was wide awake.  I made a cup of coffee and picked up a project I'm behind on, enjoying the quiet of the morning and listening to other people's problems instead of my own.

In a conversation with a friend, I discovered he needs cloth masks to extend the life of N95 masks.  Nurses at his hospital are given only one a day.  I dove into learning how to make masks and set out to find supplies.  Joann Fabrics website was a mess - I kept having things go out of stock soon as I put them in my cart but then they were available and in stock again.  The store posted later they were having trouble with the website.  I drove to the store so I could pick up a free "Take and Make" kit but while their website said they would open at 11am, they didn't.  I called to find out about the kits and was told they are doing pick-up only.  She asked if I had ordered online and I explained why I couldn't.  She suggested I try again and come back and said it takes them several hours to complete orders.  When I told her I'd driven down from Healdsburg and was in the parking lot, she immediately asked a supervisor if they could give me one.  I was able to pick up a kit.

I got it home and disinfected and washed.  After more computer work, I knew I would have to work on the masks on Sunday when I can get the machine and ironing board out and set up a work area.  I was able to successfully order some fabric for pick-up and am just waiting for notice it is ready.  I expect that may be tomorrow.

Lily jumped the fence again this afternoon.

  

This is the big goat I let into Becca's room last week.  😂😃🐐

I spent some time with Bex trying to catch up on Idol after dinner.  Now to get some sleep.

We are well and hope you are too.  Stay safe, wear your masks when going out, and wash your filthy hands. ✋🧼  😊

Friday Day 18

Friday doesn't mean Friday anymore these days.  It is pretty much like other days.  There's a little less pressure but then that space is used by other obligations.

Working from home during this pandemic means:

Everything takes longer on the computer.

Technology isn't really as advanced as we think it is.  Many things we think technology can solve aren't ready for prime time.

The house requires more work because it isn't sitting static while you're working - ya kind of mess it up as you go and need to pick that up.  

There are more dishes in the dishwasher.

Bright and early, another legal "emergency."  I put it in quotes 'cause as urgent as it is, I don't think it's an emergency.

I spent two hours on the computer trying to get a grocery order in that could be delivered sooner than two weeks from now.  I felt more stress over that than anything so far and had to take a break.  I discovered that Raley's could do pick-up on the 8th instead of waiting for delivery on the 16th, so Bex will take care of that next week when she's working.

Good news - and good people section.  I keep a private mailbox for mail where we don't want the sender to know our residence address.  The rent is due this month on the 1st (I prepay three months to get a fourth free), so I called to make the payment over the phone because I'm not leaving the house.  The owner said, "Don't worry about it, I know you're good for it.  Just take care of it when you come in."  I asked if he was sure and said I could pay it now, and he again reassured me.  "Just come on by when this is all over."

Good deeds bring grateful tears.

Bex went on a hunt for TP this afternoon.  I posed the query to friends on Facebook and they responded in such loving and helpful ways.  She found DUDE Wipes first, and then 7-Eleven had some single ply to get us through for a while longer.  The DUDE Wipes are hysterical.  If you haven't heard of them, look them up.  This is typically a testosterone free household.  That these are in this house is hysterical.

Just before chores I received a call from Tam, and I had such a great time talking with her.  I had to stop so I didn't howl in her ear, otherwise we could have talked all night - as we usually like to do.  I miss seeing her, and that call was perfection.

A quiet evening after that.  I'm tired.  I am well.  I hope you well too.