If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Day 15 - or Third Tuesday

Also known as Amanda's birthday, and the third birthday we have not been able to truly celebrate this month.

I didn't make it to bed by midnight last night after all.  I wasn't tired.  I watched a television show.  I read.  I played music and learned more about settings on the keyboard.  I set up the second keyboard (I've not used both since our last rehearsal ... eons ago). 

I ended up heading to bed at 2:00 a.m.  Not because I was tired but because I knew I needed to.  The last time I looked at the clock it was 2:20 a.m.  My alarm was set four hours later, and I turned it off when it started making noise.  I woke at 8:00 a.m.  I feel fine but know that I'm not getting enough sleep.

I got to see all of my girls at the same time - and grands! - though on video.  Mandi was so cute - she thought she knew what her gift might be and I didn't think she would - but she did have the general idea!  It was so fun to see her and Jess with their gifts together and be able to talk with all of them.  I miss them all so much.

While I was on the phone this afternoon, I heard clattering on the outside steps.  I looked out the slider and saw - Lily the goat!  She somehow escaped from the pen.  All of the other goats were still inside so she must have jumped the fence, which she is able to do if she really wants out.

She came to me when I stepped outside and because we were right at the door, I figured I'd take her inside to say hello to Becca.  Bex and Quincy were in her room and I knocked on the door.  When I opened it, I let Lily go in first and the reactions from them when Lily peered around the corner were hysterical. Oliver was quite upset at Lily showing up in the house.  I was laughing so hard I was crying the whole way to the pen.  Worth every second.

The black goat is Lily.

I dealt with the headache of WiFi versus Ethernet internet connection for remote band rehearsals.  This is going to be a lot more challenging than I thought it would be.

I used the rest of the pork and chorizo to make more taco fixings and put it on tostadas for dinner.  No more leftovers left so I will need to cook tomorrow.

Becca came out with me and howled!  My neighbor was going to howl with us tonight but she forgot and didn't have her phone nearby to get my five minute reminder.  She will try again tomorrow.  It still feels good, as did laughing with Bex all over again about Lily coming into her room.  She said she didn't know what that was coming into her room at first.  I'm laughing all over again thinking about it.

Time to wind down for the night.  We are all well and finding ways to laugh, which feels so good.  I hope you are well and finding time and reason for laughter in your lives as well.

Monday Monday Day 14

Not a lot to report for today.  Just your regular online work craziness.

Last night something hit me for the first time in my life.  I am terrified now of getting sick, which has never happened before.  It is a new and horrible feeling.

Second Wind is going to see if we can schedule some Zoom time together for singing and playing.

I set my alarm for the 8:00 p.m. howl tonight.  I figured why not?  People are used to hearing coyotes and I'm no louder than vineyard fans blowing or planes (come to think of it, I haven't heard one in a while) or real coyotes.

Becca was going out to her car so I asked her to join me.  She wouldn't but she did laugh with me.  I loved the incredible echoes throughout the valley and did it over and over again.  I didn't hear anyone respond, but maybe next time someone will remember and join in.  I texted my landlady to let her know what I did and invite her to join me next time.  I got all excited going back into the house when I thought I heard someone else do it and so I howled again!  Then Bex said it was the rooster. 😭🐓

You know what was so cool about it?  Besides getting up and going outside in the fresh and crisp night air, hearing the echoes, the sheer exuberance of it all, it felt so powerful and so freeing and invigorating.  No fear.  It was all washed away.

Landlady texted that she will do it with me tomorrow!  We're setting clocks.  We are also thinking about gobbling in the mornings to rile up the crazy turkeys who are noisiest then.

I finished the evening with a final bowl of leftover taco soup and Brenè Brown's The Call to Courage.  I highly recommend it.

With that food for thought and heart, I go to bed before midnight again, though not much before.

We are staying well here and determined not to get sick or pass any infection on to anyone.  I hope you are too.

Sunday Day 13

I ended up going to bed at 2:00 a.m. last "night."  Up at 8:00 a.m with the cat bugging me and some critter under the house.  I just sprayed peppermint under the house last night so that didn't work.  Back to the coyotes and trap again, I suppose.  The problem with my traps is they are moisture sensitive, so they short out when placed outside during rain.  Like this DOWNPOUR that started last night.  The wildlife invasion under the house is annoying.  I haven't seen Ollie with a mouse in a long time.  He's slacking.

I hate rain.  It isn't helping my mood.  The sun did come out later.

The weight loss has changed from a pound a day to half pound a day.  I'll take it.

Both reports were completed today, so I had some free time to play a little music and catch the most recent episode of Outlander.  No cooking today - leftover chicken taco soup was just as good as the first time and just as filling on a chilly evening.

I'd whack some of the weeds down but it's too wet outside now. 

I'd stepped away from the computer and news for a break when my phone lit up with a notification.  I read in disbelief that one of my favorite country artists from the 90s, Joe Diffie, had died from complications of COVID-19.  The expletives in my brain cannot be repeated here.

Click this link to hear one of my many favorites from him - in memory.  Ships That Don't Come In

I got to talk to Angelo for a little bit this evening.  He is so funny and goofy.  Sis talked with Bex and she is enunciating so well!  I miss seeing them, and it was heartbreaking to hear Sis say she wants to come to our house.  Then when Bex said she wasn't sure when she could, Sis said, "You can come to our house!"  I am looking forward to being able to do that again.

I'm headed to bed by 11:00 p.m. and hope to get some good sleep tonight.  I doused around the house with coyote urine again.  Yuck and hope it works.

The good news is we are well and holding up.  I hope you are too.

Day 12

Saturdays aren't as different from the rest of the week except that I don't feel the pressure to work remotely for the law office.  There are still other obligations that keep me busy but a little more time to do things at home.

I got out of bed at 9:00 a.m.  That's way late.  But I only did so because Oliver wouldn't leave me alone.  He wanted food in his bowl and I'm the human who takes care of that.  I was annoyed and creaky but started moving.  I still felt low and hoped music could help me feel better after chores.

The critters behaved except for Salsa, who was determined to attack every other goat on our walk to the pen.  The barn is a mess.  It was my intention in the morning to get outside today to work on things but there is computer work to catch up on while my hand isn't hurting.

When I went to the kitchen on a break from typing, I saw the browning bananas and decided to do something about it, so set about baking some banana bread.  2/3 without nuts, 1/3 with pecans for me.

There is still plenty of cooking to do but that was about it for today.  I am still working on a computer project and focused on that, though I did take a little time to work on music.

When Bex went out to work today (Door Dash) she brought dinner home, so no cooking other than baking banana bread today.

It's been pretty much a normal Saturday, except for my music project.  There is a lot to do on it because I'm learning as I go, but the progress has been fun to hear. 

Friday, Day 11

I woke up a little earlier than I have been.  I haven't been setting the alarm because time has become meaningless.  The sun wakes me in time to take care of the critters and log in to check work e-mails and tasks.

At work we are trying to get funds to a client living in Spain.  Spain!  They are in desperate need and everything is moving too slowly here but we are going to push it as hard as we can.

We're also trying to find a way to keep all three of us afloat through this mess.

I decided to pick up groceries from Jessica's house today, a pre-order that we combined a few days ago.  The plan was to then get more alfalfa too and stop by the post office to mail Mandi's birthday gift.  When I bought alfalfa last, it was just as Sonoma County shut down, I got enough for two weeks and figured everything would be over by then.  My, how things change.  I looked at the half bale left this morning and realized this was not going to go back to normal anytime soon, so I'd best get more before the weekend.

I was in the midst of work when the power went out.  I heard sirens soon after and knew it was probably an accident.  I reported the outage and then received a text that it would be restored by
1:15 p.m.

I had just settled in under an afghan to read when I received word that the groceries were delivered and had been sanitized ready for my pick-up.  So I decided to head out early. 

On my way to town, I saw a power pole literally snapped in two at the center, the top half hanging from wires.  PG&E crews were on scene and I knew this must have been the source of the sirens and power outage.  I hope no one was hurt.

I went to the post office first.  Very few people were there checking their mailboxes, and it was easy to stay clear.  I walked in, dropped my labeled and ready-to-go package on the counter at the designated spot, and took off.

I backed my SUV in near the alfalfa at the feed store and asked for two bales.  As I walked along outside toward the cashier, I spotted lots and lots of vegetable starts.  I had to stop.  I gathered some tomatoes, onions, habanero, serrano, and gypsy peppers, and some basil.  After paying for the hay and plants, using a handy alcohol wipe to handle everything, I was off to my next stop.  I had put some leftover chicken taco soup into a container for Jon and dropped that off at his doorstep, then grabbed a few items of fresh produce from a very sparsely populated Molsberry's Market, easily able to stay six feet from everyone.  Back north to Jessica's to exchange flour, yeast, and limoncello for my groceries, which were sparse because the store didn't have everything I had ordered in stock.

I was able to talk with Mandi on the way home.  I am looking forward to her receiving her gift and hope to video chat with her when she opens it on her birthday, along with her sisters.

This new reality had another effect that I hadn't thought of before - no bathroom use.  I was efficient in my travels and it didn't take too long, but I did definitely needed to use the bathroom as soon as I got home.  There was no place safe to stop.

Dinner was chili cheese dogs using leftover chili.  I have to laugh at memes I am seeing about kids needing to get used to square hot dog and hamburger buns (when people start using bread again for everything).  I am not sure how long I'll use the specialty buns.

I'm low again tonight though and going to bed earlier again, probably around 10:30 p.m.  (That was delayed when Bex wanted to watch a show, which I enjoyed watching with her. <3 p="">
Stay home.  Let the medical personnel have the space and resources to do their jobs the same way we allowed fire and emergency personnel to do theirs with early evacuation last year.

Stay well.  Get rest.  Be good to yourselves.  Build community.  Love your children and your neighbor and the crazy man on the corner.  We're in this together.  I'm tired and I am fighting feeling hopeless, but am also fighting to maintain all the good that I can.

Goodnight.

If It's Thursday, This Must Be Day 10

I actually went to bed at midnight last night.  I think that's the earliest in the last two weeks.  I was kinda proud of myself.

It's really cold this morning and all I wanted to do was stay in bed.  But it's time to move and I was able to get some things accomplished for work before going out to take care of the critters.  It is really hard to type when your fingers are cold.

I've lost another pound.

This despite allowing myself an occasional treat such as Cadbury's mini eggs, a Girl Scout cookie, or - last night - a scoop of coffee ice cream Bex offered.

I did some remote work today but my brain was racing in the morning.  I wasn't sure what to do next.  Maybe bake for a bit. 

I opened the cookbook to look for my popover recipe, but on top was an untested recipe for Slow Cooker Chicken Taco Soup.  I skimmed the ingredients, I have them, so that was started.  It looks like chili (which we are still eating) but it's not the same and there are chicken breasts under that goodness cooking away for 5 hours.  Then I take the meat out, shred it, add back in, cook another 2 hours.

I had the misfortune of hearing our buffoon in chief on the radio while I drove to get the mail this afternoon.  In those few minutes he claimed Canada might be illegally smuggling steel into the US to avoid paying tariffs, which are YUGE, and said that when the medical ship set to go help NYC left harbor in Virginia, he was going to be there to kiss it.  Yes.  He said that.  And then asked if reporters would be there because, he assured them, they could be.  (They shouldn't be!)  As the infection and death toll climbs in our country due to his failure to act promptly, and his continued delays unless US governors "bend the knee" (my paraphrase), he continues to grandstand and do nothing of any significant importance for those who really need help.

Then I spoke to someone I know who is in a roommate situation.  Their roommate had just taken off without a word in a vehicle with someone who lives outside of their home.  Definitely not six feet apart, and in an enclosed environment.  Everyone had been so careful about staying safe in the household, and this threw a huge curve.  The one who left did not respond well to questions via phone in the car and hung up.  So now there is extreme social distancing happening in the household and extreme disinfecting.  Add a dose of resentment and fear.  It's not so good.  The roommate knew better too - maybe they thought they were "safe" with the person they were driving with.  This is so frustrating.

I realized today I can't remember the last time I brushed my hair.  Still brushing my teeth of course - and washing hands so often I need to start keeping moisturizer everywhere.  They're getting as dry as they were during wildfire evacuation. 

It was a low emotion day but not horrible.  Stress hits me in the center of my throat like a brick is sitting there, so I keep wondering if I am getting a sore throat.  I'm not.  Rest, breathing, and refocusing, and the tightness in my throat and jaw goes away.

And the soup turned out great!!

Bedtime at 11:00 p.m. tonight.  Maybe this will be a positive trend.

We are still well.  I hope you are too.

Wednesday - Had to Check

This is similar to last year's wildfire evacuation. All of my routines are dismantled and I often have to check my phone or computer to tell me what day it is.  Looking at the calendar on the wall wouldn't help unless I were crossing off days.  And maybe I should do that beginning with the Sonoma County shutdown order.  That makes this Day 9?  I held onto some normalcy last week with a couple hours in the office - solo trip down in my car and solo day in the office, using alcohol wipes when touching anything - but this week is very different.

I'm not sure what is up with the birds this morning - they are flying in a hurry from time to time, banging into the metal awning.  The jays are back so maybe they're being territorial.  I saw a flash of blue wings during the last bit of ruckus.

I saw a news article today that the New York City morgues are reaching capacity.  It was so horrifying I couldn't share the news.  People will find out on their own without my needing to spread the fear.  I was shocked when the mayor refused to shut down the city last week.  I am still shocked that their expectations for citizens are what ours were in the days before we finally sheltered in place.  People are leaving NYC for other states.  I hope to god they quarantine themselves or they will bring new infection.  I read a post from someone on Facebook that their housemate also rents space as an Air BnB and has not stopped - and has new guests from NYC.  He is afraid to report it because he is afraid of being evicted himself.  Selfish people will be the death of too many.

I have been able to do more remotely working from home today.  Those moments I can dive deep into meaningful work and not be stymied by technological challenges feel really good.

I am making progress on deep learning about my keyboard and its capabilities, as well as how to integrate it with my computer for recording.  With my keyboard hooked up to the laptop and headphones on, listening to what I have been recording, I feel really good and kinda cool.

😆🎹🎵 😎

Someone asked on Facebook what barometer we're living with or seeing these days that tells us that things are different.  For him, it was clean and unused Tupperware, which he used to use and hand wash every day as they were used for work and school lunches. 

My response included:

I am cooking from scratch every meal and not doing takeout. I've lost three pounds this week since I started checking. It's weight worth losing.

Checking my phone to see what day it is.

But most important, I am missing hugging my kids and parents. We have had a weekly "family dinner" with my kids and parents since 1989. I haven't seen my 79 and 80 year old mom and dad since March 6 and do not know when I will be able to. People always say not to take the people we love for granted and to appreciate them because you'll regret it when they are gone.  I am proud to say that I do not ever take them for granted, and even when it has been challenging to make the trip to see them every week, I am always appreciative of the effort they go to in hosting our dinners and of the opportunity to see them so often.  Once I walk through their door, the worries ease and I leave those outside.  I really, really miss seeing them in person.  I would worry more about their health if they weren't so smart, and they are really smart.  They were early adopters of shelter at home and we have always been careful about contagions because Mom is so susceptible.  I still worry, but not to an extreme.

I had leftover pork deliciousness with the salsa I made yesterday over baked potato for dinner tonight.  Simple and so filling.

I worked again with the keyboard and computer in the afternoon and continue to learn new things while playing music.  I discovered that Becca's old Wii mic will plug into the computer and allow vocal recording.  I haven't tried it yet so I have no idea what the quality will be, but the software can take care of some of that if necessary.

I was able to spend some time with Bex one-on-one this evening, which was good.  Good conversations and shared concerns and support.

A friend shared her symptoms today that are in line with COVID-19.  She did not say anything about testing or diagnosis, just that she was being well cared for.  I cried.

I see that our efforts at social distancing and sheltering at home are paying off so far.  May they do so in a big way so we can defeat this bug.  If we all stay put and don't allow it to replicate, it can die instead of us.

We are well and trying to breathe and meditate and reduce stress.  I hope you are too.

Working Toward Positive

After this morning's low, I logged on to my office remotely and began to focus on problem-solving and collaboration with my fabulous colleagues.  After a phone conference yesterday morning, I was tearing up as I said I couldn't imagine doing this with anyone else. We work so well together and one pulls where the others cannot.  We will have been working together in this iteration for seven years come March.  Maribel and I have worked with Carol at other times in other places.  Our team is strong.

I got some things squared away before remote access started lagging so badly it was worse than dial-up.  I started dinner.  Pork shoulder, onion, garlic, bay leaf, and fresh mint sprigs from the back yard are simmering for hours as I write this.  It smells delicious and will feed us many different types of meals.  I think the first will be soft tacos with homemade salsa.

I see that I am going to need more onions and garlic, which seems to be a theme at the grocery stores these days.

On that note, the onion I cut up was the most unique I have ever seen.  The bulb contained what looked like several smaller onions on top of each other, with a layer of brown dry skin in the center of the rings. I didn't think to get a photo, though I should have.

After setting the pot to simmer, I went to the keyboard to work on a project I've had going for a couple weeks.  It was recording ready with the hope that my partner in music can collaborate on something share-worthy.

More remote work and finishing off dinner - which was really, really good.  Tender shredded pork with farmer's market chorizo, homemade charred salsa, in warm soft corn/flour tortillas.  There is plenty left for tomorrow.

Rather than watch television or take in more bad news, I immersed myself in downloading music files and studying manuals to begin to learn how to record separate tracks and mix sound.  Time flew.  It was 12:30 a.m. when I looked at the clock.  My schedule is all out of whack.

We are well and hope you are too.

A Low

I didn't cook dinner yesterday.  After finishing a project, I had nothing left to give.  My big plans were shelved for Tuesday.

My daughter is on a search for yeast.  I have some extra and will bring that to her later this week, along with flour and limoncello, if the scheduled home delivery comes up empty.

A friend posted with joy that someone had mysteriously left four bags of Safeway groceries on her front step!  She wondered who the benefactor was.  Another friend who happens to be mutual friends and a neighbor commented that it was her groceries, delivered by mistake and she'd been on the phone with Instacart and then her bank for two hours.  The groceries were delivered to the right person and the woman who had accidentally received them commented, "Sorry about the Cliff Bar."  That was a happy story of community and connection and coincidence and funny mistakes.

Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood hosted an online concert from their home but I could not watch it because the stream kept freezing and it became too frustrating to keep trying.

Last night I sank into a deep sadness and depression.  I cried a little when I finally went to bed at around 1:00 a.m.  I tried to stem the tears even though I know that letting them out makes things better.  I am still low Tuesday morning.  My sadness and fear is showing as anger and seeping out into social media.  I am going to work on turning my attitude around so I can get through this easier and help support those I love.  I am trying to still the mean voices in my head that say I have been lazy and unprepared and I had a good handle on this five years ago and let it slide like an idiot.  I'm trying to remember to treat myself as kindly as I would someone else I love.

It is a new day and I will see what I can do to make the best of it.  We are well and hope you are too.

Sunday/Monday

It's hard to keep track of the days as they lag so, and overwhelming stress is blunting my memory and some of my ability to write and share information.  I feel like I am on overload and am trying to back away from news in large blocks of time.

However, this crisis is always present in my mind, even when watching television shows.  I see people greeting each other with handshakes and hugs and find myself wondering why they aren't staying apart.

I ordered some groceries to be delivered to Jessica's house in Windsor yesterday.  I received a text three hours before my delivery window saying it was ready early and wondering if I was available.  I responded yes and headed down to pick it up.  When I arrived, it was on Jessica's doorstep.  I picked up the bags and set down Jessica's gift by the doorway.  I went to the end of the sidewalk while she came to the door to open it.  It felt so good to see her happiness at the gift and so hard not to be able to hug her or stay to talk.  Neither of us can share what the gift is yet because her sister will receive one in a week.

I am so bad at that.  But this works for both of them so well.

It was tostadas last night using leftovers for a couple days ago.  I am doing much better at staying on top of our supplies and not letting anything go to waste.  We are almost out of flour tortillas, which we have been using as part of breakfast.  My options are to keep an eye out for more from the stores or to learn how to make my own.  Bex wants to make bagels.  I haven't done that in nearly 10 years. 

Bread aisles are apparently slim pickings, and Jess could not get flour or yeast in her delivery yesterday.  It appears everyone is going back to scratch as premade becomes unavailable.  This trend is fascinating to watch and I wonder how much of it will stay permanently after the crisis is over - slowing down, taking the time to make healthier food from scratch.  "They" say you can eat most anything if you make it yourself.  Not only do you make less, but you are using better ingredients, and expending some calories in the process and are less likely to overeat.  Fries are not easy to make so you won't be eating them every day.

My schedule is out of whack.  I can't sleep so end up finally falling asleep in the wee hours.  I was able to get up on time today to be ready for our office phone conference.  Hours will be limited but I will do what I can from here. 

I had high hopes for dinner but have spent too much time on the computer today, with work and all, so am not sure what it will turn out to be. 

Saturday the 21st

As it often happens, when your access to resources becomes limited, you need things.

On Friday the 13th a bump developed on the top of my right hand above the wrist and in between my pinky and ring finger bones in my hand.  It was painful, like a cramp, and the pain radiated out to the edge of my hand.  It flared up with movement of those two fingers or my wrist.  It was impossible to get anything out of my right pocket.  The lump grew and by Monday was swollen across half the top of my hand.  I could barely type.  Thank goodness there's not a lot that needs those two fingers and most returns are automatic.  I checked to see if I could get a phone appointment with my doctor but she was out until the 22nd.  I decided to alternate ice and heat and to break down and actually take pain medication - Tylenol.

By yesterday afternoon, the 21st, it became manageable.  Not as much pain but still there faintly from time to time. I still have no idea why it hurts or what is causing it but am grateful for some relief.

Then, my sink started to back up.  Friday the 13th again if I remember correctly.  What a day, eh?  This is a routine occurrence.  There's a flat spot in the pipes that grabs every little speck of grease it can find, though I put NOTHING down the disposal and am careful about what goes down the drain.  After 12-18 months, it slows and I see the water rise in the sink and know it's time for it's routine clearing.  But this time it's not so routine, is it?  By the time Sonoma County issues the shelter in place, I know that I better ask now or I won't be able to get any service soon.  When I call, the owner sounds overwhelmed and frustrated but - as always - he is helpful and kind and does the very best he can.  He says he'll try to get someone out Friday.  He calls Friday and offers Saturday morning.  I am amazed they're working Saturday.

After he finishes dismantling the shelf I have under the sink that I couldn't (because my hand is all screwed up!), I tell him I won't hover and will go out and take care of the chickens.  He asks how many chickens I have, and I tell him 4 hens and a rooster. He tells me his mom has 180 (I think - definitely over 100) and a smaller number of roosters.  Thus we begin our conversation and I don't take care of my chickens until after seeing him to his truck.

He was a lovely, lovely person.  We chatted as he worked 2about "prepping," his parents, chickens, goats, cows, guinea hens, bees, peacocks, his lovely little family and baby girl, camping, all the while maintaining appropriate distance, me letting him know I had spritzed everything with alcohol that he would touch and wiped it down in preparation for his visit. (I did it again after he departed.) As he got into his truck to leave, I wished that I could invite his little family over so his daughter could play and we could all talk more. Most people are good and I've been blessed to be in contact with lots this week.

In between the typing I need to do until my hand needs a break, I started a batch of chili and tag-teamed with Bex while she made breakfast for us.  The chili was sooo good after cooking in the crockpot all day.  Warm, filling, comfort food with a little bit of garlic bread and homemade limoncello.  As we ate, Bex suggested we could use some of the leftovers for chili dogs later, which is great because I happened to think to get hot dogs in my grocery delivery order.

I am aware every day that as much as I feel I am on a precipice and am scared for what the future may hold, we are very, very lucky.  We have a roof to shelter from the downpour that is thundering outside as I type this Sunday evening.  We have food to keep us going.  We have resources many do not.  And a family that, while distant, is inspiring every single day.

 We are still well and hope you are too.  Stay inside, respect those 6-foot boundaries, get sleep, and stay hydrated.

COVID-19 - And So It Begins

My family was aware this was coming and knew it could get bad.  My parents were early adopters.  I teared up when I read my mom's note that they made the decision to self-quarantine days before San Francisco's announcement, and we would not see them for our weekly family dinner gatherings.  Not seeing my folks on a regular basis hurts.  Especially when I worry the most for them.

And yet, given how incredibly smart and prepared they are, I probably need to worry less about them.

I started getting ready to stay home.  Did grocery shopping for more than a week.  Then filled in some gaps that I didn't recognize right away.  Tried to hold down panic every chance I got.

My middle daughter and her family were impacted first when San Francisco order shelter at home.  We tried to see if the kids could be cared for by others so she could go to work but it became clearly pretty quickly that all of us were going to be isolated at home and her job would not be essential except for emergencies.

Sonoma County's orders allowed me to go to the office for the first two days because I could work solo and stay in touch remotely with people.  There was a comfort in being able to work surrounded by all of the supplies and equipment I need.  The phone didn't ring.  Emails were sparse.  I could do some catching up on paperwork.  I was hopeful that this time could be used to get files closed.  I was wrong.

I filed for unemployment, knowing my job was at least going to go to part time.

Gavin Newsom's order that the entire state would shelter in place was a game changer.  I asked my boss to call the hotline to see if I could go into the office, but she didn't.  We both know the answer without checking.  The good news is that in case of a real emergency, we can still take care of our clients.

My first real day at home for a full day since the shelter at home order was issued for Sonoma County was Friday, the 20th. I worked remotely for a while in the  morning. I cooked breakfast from scratch, including my first ever batch of biscuits that weren't dropped from a spoon. I was aware of waste and made sure I didn't spill ingredients. I cleaned up carefully and methodically. I wore an apron, which I haven't done in years (flour!). I took my time and enjoyed the respite while listening to music.

I have been seeing lots of photos of families cooking together, taking walks, reading to each other.

This was my granddaughter's 4th birthday.  We had a party planned for family and friends on the 22nd, which it became clear even weeks ago was likely going to be postponed.  Thanks to technology, five of us were able to video chat with her and her big brother and parents and sing Happy Birthday to her and enjoy watching her blow out candles.  I saw pictures of the family making birthday cake from scratch and knew the cake cut would also be a tie-die reveal.  It was beautiful!  The kids got to drop sprinkles all over it outside and then bounce with sprinkles on the trampoline in the sunshine.  It looked like a really good birthday.  It was hard not to hug them but I'm so blessed to be able to talk with and see them.

I don't like the way this is happening, but I wonder if there is real good to come from this. A reset of our go-go-go frame of mind, our need to make more more more money, our frantic busy-ness that makes our families secondary and our children more responsibility than blessing.

This brings a new awareness to many of what is really important and how good it feels to slow down. Even while we are somewhat "afraid" of other people and keep our distance, there is a real compassion and sense of community. I wonder how many new businesses and endeavors and ways of living will come from this. Even as I fear for the health of our families, community, state, and nation, I see a potential huge benefit to us all.

Stay well and love each other well through this new reality. May the other end be something very, very good.