Saturday, May 11, 2013

Pushing Past Fear of Failure

I've had a bit of a struggle this morning.

I'm making goat milk glycerine soap.  I've been doing this off and on as a hobby for quite some time and recently started listing it seriously on Etsy

Then an order came in that changed my life and my view of this whole thing - a significant order for a vacation rental.  The possibilities expanded.  The abyss of the unknown opened.

I started off this morning exploring options and looking at places other than Etsy and word of mouth to sell my goat milk soap.  As I did that, I started doubting myself.  Then I ran across another local soap maker and started doubting myself more.  The questions start running through my head about the viability of this venture, and then the accusatory and mean voice in my head starts up.  The one-way conversation is telling me that people are being nice, that some like the soap but that it's no better than others.  The voice tells me that what I'm doing isn't creative or "real" craftsmanship, that I am taking the easy way out.  That if I were a "real" artisan, I'd put on the gloves and goggles and learn how to make soap from way-basic-scratch.  I am a fraud.  My soap is too fragile to put in a market.  Even though I love my packaging and see the benefits and value, the voice tells me that it's lame and cheap.  It tells me that I don't have the capital to invest into this and that starting slow and building up is stupid, that I am wasting my time.

How the heck do I get past this?  What keeps me moving forward instead of digging in my heels to a stop, putting away my dreams and goals, and settle miserably back onto the treadmill that I want to escape, that is stifling me, that doesn't allow me to live the life I want to and to be the authentic me that I want to be every minute of every day?

I've done this before.  I've stopped, using excuses.  This time feels different, and so there's a push-back today to the negativity.  I know I like this.  I know I use it every day.  I know others like it.  It may appear "easy," but there are components (goat milk) that are unique (raw, homemade, not store-bought) that make it special and more beneficial than what is currently available.  I know people find it helpful, enjoyable.  I am gathering feedback from family and friends and making adjustments.  I am brainstorming.  I am learning.  I am making preparations to take the leap.  I will.

I Am. Going. To. Do. This.

I Am.

No comments:

Post a Comment