Caring For Your Middle Schooler

How did our teens come to be throw-away children? In other words, as the Western world turned to dual-income families, single parent families, and everyone scrambled to provide professional child care for the youngest of children, how did our teens get left behind? Does anyone seriously think that a 13-year-old should be home alone? For how long? A half day? All summer long?

I know many parents who cannot afford child care for even their "tweens." I know of far too many 11- and 12-year-olds walking home from school alone. The invisible "latch-key children" that no one wants to look at, no one wants to address. Heck, even the IRS cuts off the deduction for child care expenses at age 13, unless your child is handicapped.

A serious search over my lunch hour today showed that the bulk of summer programs are designed for children 12 and under, for adults, and for seniors. Most are scheduled during the work day, which would be fine if they were a full day program, but a class/activity from 9:00 to noon Monday through Friday leaves the parent wondering what the heck their child is going to do the rest of the day, and how he/she will get there. Are there really that many stay-at-home parents, able to handle these "recreational schedules"? Or parents that are wealthy enough to be able to drop the equivalent of a rent payment for a month's worth of summer camp?

I asked my boss today what she did when her daughter hit middle school, and on-site after school care was no longer available. She looked slightly uncomfortable when she told me that her middle-schooler spent most of her time at the office. Summertime camps were scheduled, as well as an end-of-summer vacation for the family. I assume it was similar during high school.

Sure, my older daughters went home after school when they hit middle school. However, they were two kids together, not solo, and able to walk 1 block safely home. They had grandparents who were able to pick them up one or two afternoons a week to spend time with them, and trusted stay-at-home neighbors close by. What do I do with my solo kid that won't break the bank or put her at risk? There are options to be explored, but it is seriously a part time job to do so.

What do we, as parents, need to do in order to open up opportunities for our teens to be safe and loved when they're out of school? Especially those parents who *must* work to put food on the table and a roof over their heads?

You know, there has to be a better way.